The 5:1 ratio that separates happy couples from divorced ones | John & Julie Gottman: Full Interview

Become a Big Think member to unlock expert classes, premium print issues, exclusive events and more: https://bigthink.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=membership&utm_content=bt-ytdesc-text-fi-gottman-hqa06hmCayo Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1 Up next, Love is a skill, not a feeling | Alain de Botton: Full Interview ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRMcimuuk0Q&vl=en Every marriage’s disintegration is marked by the same four warning signs that researchers John and Julie Gottman can spot before a couple even finishes their first sentence. The founders of the Gottman Institute break down decades of lab research on why relationships collapse, and what to look for in a partner so they can make it 50 years by your side. 0:00 Chapter 1: Why relationships fall apart 7:06 The four relationship killers 12:52 Betrayal, trust, and bids for connection 20:09 Is it ever too late? 25:01 Chapter 2: How couples successfully repair a relationship 27:30 The four stages of healing betrayal 36:21 The one thing great couples do 43:23 Chapter 3: Defining love 48:53 The secret to a great sex life 54:24 Love myths, busted 58:06 Reasons to not give up on love Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/save-your-relationship/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description © Freethink Media Inc., All Rights Reserved. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go Deeper with Big Think: ►Become a Big Think Youtube Member Get exclusive classes and early, ad-free access to new releases without leaving Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/@bigthink/membership/ ►Become a Big Think Web Member Get the entire Big Think Class library, premium print issues, live events, and more. https://bigthink.com/membership/ ►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack Get all of your favorite Big Think content delivered to your inbox. https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/ ►Listen to Big Think Interviews on Spotify Insights from the world's biggest thinkers, now as a podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/7KRYoRD1NdF2aoQcBMyPlb ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About John Gottman: World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has conducted 50 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. In addition to being named one of Psychotherapy Networker’s Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century. Dr. Gottman is the author or co-author of over 250 published academic articles and more than 50 books, including best-sellers Fight Right, The Love Prescription, and Eight Dates, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, as well as The New Marriage Clinic, What Makes Love Last, The Science of Trust, The Relationship Cure, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child. About Julie Gottman: Co-founder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software, Inc., Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is co-creator of Loving Couples Loving Children – a curriculum for couples struggling with poverty, co-creator of the immensely popular Art & Science of Love weekend workshops for couples, and co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Couples Therapy. A highly respected licensed clinical psychologist and educator, she is sought internationally as an expert advisor on marriage, the treatment of trauma and affairs, sexual harassment and rape, domestic violence, same-sex marriage, and gay and lesbian parenting. Dr. Schwartz Gottman has been honored as the Washington State Psychologist of the Year and is the recipient of the Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award. She is author or co-author of many books, including best-sellers Fight Right, The Love Prescription, and Eight Dates, as well as The New Marriage Clinic, and The Marriage Clinic Casebook, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, The Man’s Guide To Women, and And Baby Makes Three. Dr. Schwartz Gottman has received wide recognition for her clinical psychotherapy treatment, with specialization in distressed couples, abuse and trauma survivors, substance abusers and their partners, and cancer patients and their families.